In which our intrepid hero reveals a morbid fascination with certain foods.

As my friends well know, I’m liable to crap on for hours at length on various subjects, particularly once I’ve had a few too many. (Tip: Don’t get me started on Nietzsche, Philip K Dick or quantum theory after my fourth beer.)

One of these subjects, that I tend to pull out whilst drinking with vegetarian friends, is how cool it would be when we can finally produce meat artificially. I’m not talking about smallgoods here, but growing it from scratch in a lab.

Science is only now catching up with the voluminous crap that hurtles from my intoxicated lips, it seems. Reuters covers these developments:

Writing in the journal Tissue Engineering, [University of Maryland doctoral student Jason] Matheny said scientists could grow cells from the muscle tissue of cattle, pigs, poultry or fish in large flat sheets on thin membranes. These sheets of cells would be grown and stretched, then removed from the membranes and stacked to increase thickness and resemble meat.

Using another method, scientists could grow muscle cells on small three-dimensional beads that stretch with small changes in temperature. The resulting tissue could be used to make processed meat such as chicken nuggets or hamburgers.

What can I say? Check out this strip from The Parking Lot is Full.