In which our intrepid hero determines that it is not always easy to tell stupidity from fiction.

The following is supposedly a magic (tack a k on the end if you’re feeling especially Crowleyan today) spell to lower your mobile phone bill. Just to show you that I’m not making this up, you can see the original page here.

You Will Need:

  • An old phone bill
  • Small Post-It notes
  • A pen

The Spell:

When the moon is waning take the old phone bill and roll it up into a scroll, and secure it with the black thread.

On a couple of post it notes write down the maximum you want your next bill to be, and stick one on the old phone bill and the other on the back of your mobile phone.

Now, whenever you pick up your phone you’ll see the note. Ask yourself if the call is really necessary and remember that texting is cheaper.

Keep the old phone bill by your altar until the new (hopefully lower) phone bill comes in.

Then throw away the old bill and repeat the spell, perhaps choosing an even lower target and reducing your bill even further.

It’s rare to find me completely nonplussed by anything, but this is one of those rare occasions. I find myself unable to discern whether whoever posted this was actually serious. I don’t know whether to smile at the blunt wit or to cry at the idiocy of it.

My sense of humour and my contempt for stupidity have collided head-on, and I lie bleeding and broken at the roadside.