In which our intrepid hero suddenly decides he wants to be Chilean, so he can bone up on loot.

At first, reports were annoyingly vague, but then the detail came out—there’s about 800 tonnes of treasure on a remote island somewhere off the coast of Chile. Worth about a billion bucks. Including two papal rings and a gem with a name. The site of all this treasure, strangely enough, is called Robinson Crusoe Island.

Although nothing’s actually been found yet, they’re already dividing it up. The finders want half, the government wants it all, and the locals want a cool $8,000,000 each. It could be one of the largest archaeological finds in history.

Or it could just be someone’s sick idea of a promo for the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

(I did have a couple of story links, by the way, but News has since archived them, and I’m too cheap to pay for access. Money-grubbing bastards.)