In which our intrepid hero shares his scary-snaps.

I’d like to share a few pictures that I took with my phone whilst on holidays.

The first is of Sammy (who I mentioned some way down in this post), showing off his sheer girth. I figure that we could put him in a leather gimp mask and tights, splice in some pointless car chases and make a Mexican wrestling movie called El Lardo: ¡El Gato más Gordo del Mundo!

(That’s El Lardo: The Fattest Cat in the World! for those of you out there not fluent in Babelfish Spanish.)

I call the next picture Waiting for the Sushi Train, shot whilst eating at a cheap sushi restaurant in Queensland. In hindsight, I probably should’ve just hailed down a Sushi Cab; the food there tasted a little like cardboard, and I ended up with mild food poisoning.

My final offering today illustrates what happens when a cat with ADD takes an interest in your phone. Missy was intrigued by her newfound toy’s smell, and I’m lucky I didn’t get just get a closeup of a cat’s nose, or a forehead as she tried to scent-mark it as hers.

Truth be told, I like the effect, though. It’s one of those accidental cool shots, like the time I was asked to take a portrait when I was in the middle of a cigarette, and ended up with a freakish “ectoplasm” photo like spiritualists used to produce in the 1910s and 20s—thanks to flash glare and copious amounts of cigarette smoke.

Anyway, that’s me for today. Happy New Year, all!