In which our intrepid hero loses it (once again) when it comes to our nation’s obsession with national security.

One of the items from today’s Yahoo! News begins thus:

Former opposition leader Kim Beazley has warned a ship could be turned into a floating bomb used to attack Australia.

Former? Yeah, he’s been oppo leader before, but as far as I know, he still has the job—as his profile on Parliament’s website suggests. Unless, of course, Labor’s preselection and/or leadership woes have gotten out of hand again. And someone broke the story before the release could be written.

We’ll see. File it away with the Vladimir Putin thing.

What really gets me about this story, though, is just how patently absurd the idea is. Sure, you might be able to surreptitiously load up a container ship with hundreds of tonnes of high explosive, but how are you going to get it anywhere near a strategic asset to blow it up?

It’s a simple fact of geography that all the really juicy stuff in a port is at the shore, and the water around it is generally quite shallow. That’s why they call it "shore"—it’s where the water meets the land.