In which our intrepid hero finds the strangest thing on daytime television.

One of the interesting things about digital TV is that when it goes wrong, it often does so in surreal ways. Take the least worst thing that I can find on TV at the moment: a Chinese news programme on SBS.

There’s something seriously screwy with the audio compression on SBS today, like it’s losing about half the signal. As such, what’s playing at the moment sounds a bit like the illicit lovechild of this Chinese news report—

—and “Hurdy Gurdy Man”, by the Buttlehole Surfers

—except it’s about fish. Probably the price, thereof, in China. I kid you not.

If I didn’t have to haul my butt interstate in a few hours, I’d be sorely tempted to retreat into the comfort of unconsciousness and write the day off.