See here for a brief introduction to the Gateau Method.

In 1987, Discordian musicians Bill Drummond (AKA King Boy D) and Jimmy Cauty (AKA Rockman Rock) of UK acid house band The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu fell afoul of ABBA’s lawyers when the former heavily sampled Dancing Queen for their song The Queen and I. The following year, however, they rebadged themselves as The Timelords and achieved a number one single with Doctorin’ the Tardis.

Also that year, the pair kickstarted The KLF, which produced a series of hit singles over the following years, including What Time is Love?, 3AM Eternal, Last Train to Trancentral and Justified and Ancient. They abruptly shut operations down in 1992, deleting The KLF’s UK back-catalogue and firing machine-gun blanks into the crowd at their final concert.

In 1993, Drummond’s and Cauty’s outfit metamorphosed into the K Foundation. Ostensibly, the Foundation existed to encourage artists, but in 1994, the shortlist of nominees for the K Foundation Award for the worst artist of the year was identical to that of the 1993 Turner Prize, being judged simultaneously; the cash reward for the K Foundation Award was twice that of the Turner Prize. Rachel Whiteread’s House won both awards.

The Foundation became a vehicle both for Drummond’s and Cauty’s quasi-Situationist pranks and a method by which to dispose of the money they’d earned as The KLF. In one particular case, being unable to find a home for an installation piece consisting of £1 million in cash, the K Foundation instead decided to film the money being reduced to ash on the Scottish island of Jura. A year later, their film Watch the K Foundation Burn a Million Quid premiered in Jura, touring the UK and Belgrade.

On Christmas Day, 1995, the K Foundation’s final act was an only partially successful attempt to distribute high-alcohol lager to the homeless near London’s Waterloo Station. Drummond and Cauty briefly released a single in 1997—Fuck the Millennium—as 2K, but little has been heard from them since.

In a late-1950s, Gateau Method world, people would be just as confused and dismayed by the destruction of large sums of cash—moreso, perhaps, because a million dollars was worth so much more back then. And this kind of reaction itself has power; mass hysteria is a potent catalyst for change in the Esoterrorists universe, for example.

Of all the potential perpetrators, one man stands out: the most popular musician of the late 1950s and one of the wealthiest men in the entertainment industry, who sang the world’s first gold-record single and was the seventh son of a seventh son. Outside the house in which Abraham Lincoln stayed, the night before giving the Gettysburg Address, two statues stand: Lincoln rests his right hand on this mysterious singer’s shoulder, as if the great Republican was granting his—and by association, New America‘s—blessing.

I speak, of course, of Perry Como. Whether Como is a hero, patsy or villain is up to you, but clearly, he has the mystical moxie to “pop the clutch” on Gateau Method reality, should he so choose. This makes him a pivotal character, no mater what role he plays.

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