I’m not saying it’s rained a lot in the last week, but it’s crawling with crabs here, and yesterday, this old guy fell out of the sky and flattened the lavender bush with his enormous wings. He kept babbling shit, so I’ve locked him in with the chickens until I can figure out what to do with him. Please don’t tell Centrelink, or they’ll cut our Rent Assistance or something.

(It’s a Gabriel Garcia Marquez reference, in case you were wondering. I haven’t gone completely crazy yet.)