I never did get the hang of rugby union. The idea of the game seems to be to swipe your face like a credit card down another man’s buttcrack. Sounds a bit like one of those party games they play at Sleaze Ball when the drugs have run out and they’ve had to move on to cleaning products.

On a related note: it’s quite clear from all the big hair, moustaches and men in tight shorts, that Mardi Gras is how Sydney makes up for only having one AFL team.