Just awoke from a really vivid dream about cabbage and mustard and broccoli, artfully shot, no dialogue, but with an mind-blowingly moving score. It was, like, Barassika.

Yeah, that’s how kickarse I am.

A few weeks ago, one of my cats, Jewel, snapped a ligament in her foot, and to stop her trying to jump on things and landing badly again, she’s been confined to a cage ever since. She’s only allowed out for 15 minutes of carefully supervised exercise a day.

I’m starting to worry about her, though; she’s become really mean. She beats up on other cats all the time. She refers to Mim as a “screw”. She makes me smuggle in Greenies in my butt when I visit. She’s even tattooed her little knuckles with ballpoint ink.